Massage: Sleep and Connection

Evening Silhouettes - February, 2026

Imagine that you are preparing for bed. You’re in your softest PJs, you’ve brushed your teeth and washed your face, and your water glass is on the bedside table. There is only one lamp giving out a warm light. You spritz your pillow with a light mist of lavender, chamomile, rose or jasmine to promote sleep. Using a massage tool, a tennis ball, or a small foam roller, you knead the tension in your shoulders and neck, breathing in easily as the tight muscles let go. Your head hits the pillow and you sleep like a baby until morning. 

A bedtime routine, aromatherapy, and massage can all contribute significantly to quality shuteye. As a massage therapist, clients have shared that they sleep better after having a massage - even with an afternoon appointment, the effects carry through to good sleep that night. Massage can release those helpful feel-good hormones like serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine, while decreasing cortisol. And massage eases pain, decreases stress and reduces anxiety, all of which can lead to improved sleep. 

I’ve also encouraged clients to pay attention to the sensations they feel during a massage - the feel of the sheets, the smell of the aromatherapy, the sound of the music - so that they can remember those sensations at bedtime to again feel the relaxation of their body and mind. This is a great way to extend the benefits of massage.

The research I’ve seen is mostly subjective when measuring for relaxation and sleep quality, although some objective data can be gathered, such as salivary cortisol to determine stress before and after intervention. But a massage’s easefulness is subjective.

And in my experience, not all massage sessions are created equal. I used to get bodywork from a therapist whose touch and vibe were so calming and safe that I fell into a zone - not quite sleep but not exactly in the here and now. These sessions left me deeply relaxed - so good for my head and body. 

Recently I had a somewhat different experience. As soon as I walked in the door it seemed as if we had a schedule to adhere to and we were falling behind. The session was a cookie cutter routine, and the therapist’s forearm on my upper back felt like a Ford F-350 ripping across the speedbumps in a parking lot at full speed. It wasn’t until after the session, when I walked out of the building and sat in my car, soaking in the sunshiney warmth, that I actually relaxed. I had just paid a lot of money to be tense, stressed, and feel like an asphalt parking lot. What would that massage have been like if the therapist had really felt the tissue under her hands, and worked with the tight areas in my body to bring some movement, ease, and blood flow? 

This makes me think of the how-to-give-a-massage-during-Covid video. The various methods for delivery like “tribute hands,” “swiffer aromatherapy” and “light saber reflexology” are spot-on and hilarious. Why did my less than relaxing recent massage experience make me think of this video? Because there was no real connection between therapist and client - everything was scripted and generalized. 

To be fair, this is the level at which some people prefer to receive massage - kind of like small talk at a party. You end up not learning much and with a vague sense of dissatisfaction. But there are ways to have even light conversation where you still learn what the person’s work is, what interested them in that work, and how they like it. You might learn something new about that field of work, you might feel you understand this new person a little bit, the conversation might even shed some light on your own work. Connection below the superficial surface.

With massage, you can have that same kind of connection. Mostly it is the awareness (of both therapist and client) of what’s moving, what’s not moving as well, and soreness or even pain. But it isn’t only muscle and connective tissue and fascia on the massage table. There is the understanding of parts of the client’s life - are they out for hours running or cycling, have they been in front of the computer for a stressful season of work, or looking after an ailing family member? There is so much more than the surface muscle tension to be addressed and acknowledged. 

Clients sometimes rib me for being a little generous with the massage time. And I think a part of this is allowing for connection. A listening to the body and its rhythm. Some tightnesses can’t be rushed along. They require patience and kindness - and perhaps persistence. 

If there were more of this space for considered connection, in conversation, in massage - in day to day interactions, perhaps we would all be learning a bit more, be more attuned to one another, and certainly much more relaxed. And maybe we’d all be sleeping better too. 


Source
AMTA: Massage Therapy’s Effect On Sleep