Gratitude

Sunset over Emerald Mountain - November 2024

Gratitude: a word that is overworked in many an exercise class or social gathering, or used superficially in speeches and ads, especially at this holiday time of year. But if we can step away from the phony and ubiquitous, gratitude is more than worthy of consideration. Let’s look at the actual meaning of the word, and how it can change our brains and lives for the better.

Grat·i·tude, noun: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. (Oxford Languages Dictionary)

The second part of that definition grabs my attention. If I am ready to show appreciation for, I’ve got to be paying attention to what’s around me, and if someone does something nice, to be sure to return that kindness. An example: last week my daughter and I met for coffee, and the barista took extra care to feather the oat milk beautifully on our lattes. We both expressed our appreciation, and I said to the barista that it was the best latte around. Result? Huge happy smile!! This exchange was simple, yet I still remember it and it makes me smile, positively affecting my life.

Etymology of gratitude: from Latin gratitudinum, grati, gratis: thankfulness, pleasing. Further back in gratitude’s lineage, we see the word related to the Sanskrit grnati: "sings, praises, announces;" and the Lithuanian giriu, girti: "to praise, celebrate."

From this, the phrase “singing the praises” comes to mind. Again, being very aware of the present moment, and engaging with what is around you, is a prerequisite for authentically singing the praises. I have an example of this as well: last December, in the midst of the holiday crush at the post office, I recognized the worker at the side door retrieving packages. When I got to the front of the line, I sung the praises - gratitude for the hard work, the long hours, and being there to take care of folks like me getting our important packages. You should have seen her face light up! That, too, still gives me little goosebumps. I really care about this person and it was wonderful to see the smile on her lovely face. This too, has benefited my life.

Since neuroplasticity is one of my fave topics, check out this video: Christina Costa: How gratitude rewires your brain | TED Talk. Ms. Costa’s talk is quite poignant - she discusses how gratitude rewires the brain, using her own current experience with a brain tumor to demonstrate the positive changes she creates.

Gratitude can help if you are in the midst of a stressful day, with many worries, or you are feeling down or overwhelmed. Focusing on one thing for which you are thankful can shift that mindset. Some people keep a list on the refrigerator or near their computer of the things to remember to be thankful for. This article: Harvard Health: Giving Thanks Can Make You Happier provides additional information and suggestions for cultivating gratitude in your life.

Gratitude can also help with something called Hedonic Adaptation. Happiness can temporarily go up or down due to circumstances, but we pretty much return to our fixed happiness set-point. Related to this is the concept of Hedonic Adaptation, in which the amount of happiness something brings you fades over time. One way to address this adaptation is to practice gratitude for things in the moment, or even from the past. Savoring, taking the time to be present and appreciate what is happening right now, for example a lovely sunset or time with a loved one, is a great way to bring in that thankfulness. A gratitude journal, in which you note daily a number of items you are grateful for, is another way of focusing your attention on the good things, rather than taking them for granted. You can read this article: Verywell Mind: Hedonic Adaptation: Why You Are Not Happier to learn more.

In the past I’ve been at times stumped by coming up with new things to write in my gratitude journal. But I now look forward to this nightly practice that has become what I focus on before going to sleep, filling my head with the good stuff in my life. I rest more peacefully as a result. In the morning, I borrow from Louise Hay (“my day begins and ends with gratitude and joy”), and thank my bed for keeping me nice and cozy. This might seem strange, but I also remember learning from James Altucher that he is thankful for all of the things and people that he wants to continue to have in his life. Point taken.
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Originally published November 2022