Gardening at the U

Pearl Lake Sunrise - August 2022

The sound of the flowing water is an unexpected surprise, and the waterfall is a welcome sight. I settle myself under a large tree - the temperature is heading towards 102’ and I’m happy for the respite. This sweet area isn’t on a mountain trail, it is across from the J Willard Marriott Library at the University of Utah - the U - in Salt Lake City. I’m here with Charlotte, who is wrapping up the second day of her new student orientation. 

Founded in 1850, the Tier 1 research university sits 400 feet above the city at an elevation of roughly 4730 feet. Yes, the library is named for that Marriott of hotel fame; the building holds a special place in his heart because he met his wife there. Besides the lovely waterfall, the campus is abundant with areas for study, rest, conversation and contemplation: benches tucked between trees and flowers, inviting patches of green, and open, shaded patios with tables and seats. 

The orientation for parents, separate from the student orientation, was held the first day. It provided general information and attempted to calm parental nerves. My favorite part was the student panel, in which several young women and men gave us the scoop on the best campus food (pizza!), what to actually bring to the dorm rooms (minifridge and extension cords!), and best transportation to the local ski areas like Alta and Snowbird (mooch off friends with cars!) 

We’re staying close to campus in a little charmer of a Victorian apartment in The Avenues - one of Salt Lake City’s first neighborhoods. Huge trees line the streets, providing filtered sunlight for the lush gardens adorning most homes, which range in architectural style from Prairie to Victorian, Queen Anne to Tudor. Some abodes are more humble than others, giving the beautiful neighborhood a down-to-earth feel. It is a delightful place to stroll as evidenced by the many dog-walkers morning and evening. The whole area is crazy hilly, à la San Francisco. Who knew? The first morning we headed out for a run - and found ourselves climbing a mile-long, very steep, uphill. Charlotte was at a relaxed pace, and I was attempting to stave off a cardiopulmonary event. 

We’ve checked out several coffee shops and outdoor gear retailers as potential workplaces for Charlotte. She’s made connections with some students as well as advisors and professors from her college of study, Social and Behavioral Science - her declared major is Environmental & Sustainability Studies with a minor in Documentary Film. She’s checking out the trail running and mountain biking clubs, and is looking forward to meeting fellow climbers at the campus climbing wall. She’s laying plans for how to squeeze her bike, her bass guitar and her skis into her tiny dorm room - who needs a desk?

Being her mom right now is a weird jumble of thoughts and emotions. Intense pride, excitement, conviction, and gratitude interwoven with the sense of a void, sadness, a smidge of worry, and taking a bigger step back as she does her thing. 

I think of those gardens in The Avenues. Some are carefully sculpted, precisely designed, controlled to be just so. Others have been given the soil, water, light and time they need, and, with the gentle directional nudge here and there, have evolved into their own amazingness. The bees and birds are attracted to their abundance; these unrestrained gardens have exactly what they need to flourish. 

I’ve watched Charlotte develop friendships with students who study hard, musicians who want to teach, climbers, canyoneers and river rafters who share experience and fun. She has honed her skills and developed her self-awareness, and she goes after what she wants. 

So yes, I have my mixed bag of feelings, and I’m sure I will continue to process these over the years. Such is the path of a parent. 

But the truth is that Charlotte is more than capable. She is surrounded by encouraging people. She has opportunities and the wherewithal to explore them. I see that my daughter has what she needs to thrive, and I am thankful for that.